We are excited to share what we believe to be a valuable tip. At the Smart Marriage Conference in July 2010, we attended a session called “Marriage and Depression: Coping With Depression As A Couple.” The session leaders, Dennis Lowe, Ph.D and Emily Scott-Lowe, Ph.D told us that they called the depression in their marriage the unwelcome intruder. Why? By viewing the depression as an unwelcome intruder, a couple has an easier time uniting to meet this external challenge. They are not angry at each other, they are angry at the unwelcome intruder in the relationship.
Let’s say the couple dealing with depression can’t go out and socialize anymore. One may angrily say, “Everything is so different; because of you, we don’t see friends anymore!” If instead, you view the depression as an unwelcomed intruder, you may hear, “I am so angry at what depression is doing to our social life.”
The Lowes asked us to share this tip-it works-and can make a shift in a couple instantly. So please pass it along to anyone coping with depression in his or her marriage or relationship.