I, a Catholic, will be celebrating my sixth Passover with my husband Lewis. Lewis’ tradition for celebrating Passover is kind of like the Christmas season condensed into one week. The entire kitchen– pots, pans and dishes– changes; the refrigerator gets emptied out completely to make way for the special Passover foods; there’s tons of baking and cooking. Lewis happily prepares for the Passover seder and the eight days of Passover at our home are joyful, loving and heartwarming.
When we were dating Lewis invited me to a Passover seder and told me all that he did to prepare for it. He shared his love for this holy tradition and said that he would do it this way forever and it was important that his partner agree to do this with him.
When it came time for the “I do” we both made a vow to honor each other’s religious traditions and join in as much as possible.
So I have a secret to share. Our schedules this year are busier than ever. There is a part of me that wanted to suggest that we simply join in with the synagogue festivities and not do the Passover seder at our home.
Why didn’t I make this suggestion? Because when I said yes to marrying Lewis, I made a vow. I knew what Passover would look like.
So I made the shift in my mindset. I asked myself, “What did I need so I could be as happy as usual about honoring my vow to Lewis?” I needed help with the spring cleanup that is part of the holiday preparations. I enlisted the help of my daughter and nephew for those chores. Now I am excited above the Passover holiday and can be fully supportive for Lewis. While sitting at the Passover seder this year, joyously celebrating with family and friends, I will feel a deep sense of contentment, knowing that I honored my vow.