The State of Matrimony – Interesting Article


Diane and Lewis

Romance is in the air! Found this heartwarming love story written by Sean Durity in yesterday’s Yahoo News.

“Wilbert Glenn Adriance, my grandpa, died on May 26, 2010, at the age of 91. Battling her own failing health, my Grandma Bonnie, his wife of almost 69 years, struggled afterward with the grief of their separation. She wondered why she was still here on earth, and over the course of the last year, her mind and body were painfully giving out. Some days she didn’t recognize her daughter (my mom) or anyone else.

But then something very strange happened. It was March 7, this year, and it would have been Grandpa’s 92nd birthday. My mom received a call from Essex, Md., near Baltimore. She and her family had lived there when she was a young girl. But the caller wasn’t any friend or family she recognized. Not many remained there anyway. The call was from Bill, a postal worker. He had a package for Grandma, and it was from Grandpa!

Bill explained that the slightly damaged and opened package was addressed to “Mrs. Wilbert Adriance” and had been sent from Farragut, Idaho, to Baltimore. It contained a picture. And it just showed up in the dead mail that day — Grandpa’s birthday. The package showed significant age, as it included Baltimore’s pre-ZIP code zone of 21.

Because the ZIP code system began in 1963, we knew the package was at least 48 years overdue. But Mom knew it was even older. Grandpa had only been in Farragut, Idaho, one time in his life. It was during his Navy basic training in 1944! (Idaho may not seem like a natural place for naval training, but 300,000 recruits trained at Farragut Naval Training Station during its four years of war-time service.) The package was 67 years late!

Because the postal worker’s father had lived in Essex, he said he was motivated to go beyond his postal-worker duty and try to deliver the long-lost package. He had found Grandpa’s obituary online and eventually was able to reach my mom to arrange express delivery to her address. Mom found it quite ironic that its plastic bag explained that damage “will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible.” At 67 years old, the package was actually in great shape.

The small cardboard tube contained only the black-and-white photograph of Grandpa’s training class, Company 5013-44 – Regiment 2 – Battalion 5. It was dated Sept. 19, 1944. There was no letter, but I am sure that he sent the picture to say, “We are far apart for now, but I’m OK. I am where I am supposed to be. We will be together soon.”

Nearly 70 years later, Grandma was able to see the picture and flashed one of her last smiles. She recognized her 25-year-old husband’s picture. She said, “Keep it in a safe place.” After 67 years, Grandpa’s message was faithfully delivered, exactly at the right time: “We are far apart for now, but I’m OK. I am where I am supposed to be. We will be together soon.”

My grandma, Vivian Yvonne (Bonnie) Adriance, died one month later on April 10.”

your life’s mate carefully; from this one decision will come 90 percent of your happiness or misery.”  -H. Jackson Brown Jr., Life’s Little Instruction Book

Lewis and I are on our way home from  Baltimore and the Washington DC areas after attending a joyous wedding of our good friends’ daughter.

The day before the wedding we visited three places that were on our “bucket list” -the Vietnam Memorial, the World War II Memorial and the Holocaust Museum.

Phew, there are no words, only sadness and the thought how horrible people can be to each other at times.  As I walked away from these three sites I felt a deep stirring and remembering in my soul. The only thing I can do is to love and be kind to each and every person I meet.

As we searched for our car on Pennsylvania Avenue,  I held Lewis’ hand and  thought, ” I get to practice being loving and kind right here and right now with Lewis.”

Read what the experts have to say about the Conscious Dating Program. Diane and Lewis are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and teach the Conscious Dating Programs.
“In Conscious Dating, David Steele provides a new concept for dating and insightful advice, effective exercises and useful illustrations that will help anyone who uses them make their journey to love successful. We recommend this program to anyone looking for love.” — Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D., co-authors ofReceiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved

“Unconscious dating can lead to disaster. Given the serious effect of relationships gone awry, Conscious Dating is a must for singles who want to make better relationship choices. David Steele provides sound guidance and practical advice for today’s singles.” — Pat Love, Ed.D. Author, The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy

“David Steele has made a significant contribution to the world of relationships by mapping two previously foreign countries- consciousness and dating, bringing them together at last in this customized system. Packed with practical strategies that really work, Conscious Dating is THE program for helping singles navigate the dating world.” –Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, authors of Conscious Loving

“This program is filled with practical strategies that work. Packed with solid advice, assessments and exercises, Conscious Dating will completely change the way singles view dating and relating. A must for anyone who wants to create his or her next great relationship.” –Eve Eschner Hogan, Author of Intellectual Foreplay and How to Love Your Marriage

“Seeking to find the partner of your dreams can be a bruising process. Conscious Dating teaches you ALL you need to know to find a partner with whom to live a full life, starting NOW! This is THE program for every single who wants to find the love of your life.” –Bonnie Bernell, Ed.D, Author of Bountiful Women: Large Women’s Secrets for Living the Life They Desire.

Learn to Speak Your Partner’s
Love Language For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day from Madly In Love Forever! It’s that time of year when we want to communicate our love to our partner. Traditional Valentine’s Day gifts include chocolates, flowers and lingerie. Seems simple and yet, not all spouses feel loved by these gifts.

Why? As humans we give and receive love differently. Keeping this love alive in marriage takes awareness and the desire to do something about it. Marriages dry up when we don’t know how our spouses receive love.

Author and marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman, proposes five love languages and states that “people speak different love languages.” In linguistics, there are major language groups such as Spanish, German and Japanese. If we want to communicate in Spain, we learn Spanish. It’s the same in love. If we want to communicate love effectively, we must be willing to learn our partner’s primary love language.

No matter how hard you try to express yourself, if your partner’s love language is different from yours, then you will never understand how to communicate love to your partner until you learn his or her love language. Dr. Chapman has found that many partners do not speak the same love language. That’s why many couples wonder — “What happens to the love after the wedding?”

Which love language is your partner primary love language? See if you can identify his or her love language from Dr Chapman’s five love languages.



1. Language: Words of Affirmation

How to Tell: The person speaking this love language beams when they hear verbal compliments, words of appreciation, encouraging words and kind words.

How to Speak: Give loves notes, cards, quotes, poems and compliments. Hide a note with words of appreciation under their pillow.


2. Language: Physical Touch

How to Tell: – The person speaking this love language feels love through touch. They yearn for their spouses to reach out and touch them physically.

How to Speak: Stroke their back, massage their body, hold their hand, kiss, embrace or have sexual intercourse.



3. Language: Quality Time

How to Tell: The person speaking this love language feels love when they have your undivided attention.

How to Speak: Be fully present with your partner by turning off the TV, computer and cell phone. Engage in activities such as eating, biking, walking, dancing or just lying in bed talking.


4. Language: Acts of Service

How to Tell: The person speaking this love language feels loved when something is done for them with generosity.

How to Speak: Vacuum the rug, hang a bird feeder, clean the car, cook a meal or paint a room. You can simply ask “Can I do anything for you?”




5. Language: Gifts

How to Tell: The person speaking this love language feels the powerful message of love when they receive a gift.

How to Speak: Provide this person with a gift that demonstrates that you put careful thought into the selection of the gift. The price of the gift is insignificant! What is very important is that you are giving them what they want, not what you want.

Dr. Chapman understands that the love languages can overlap and yet insists that there is a predominant love language for every human being. To discover yours, ask yourself, “Which one can’t I live without?”

To assist you further in this inquiry, Dr. Chapman suggests you ask yourself the following three questions:

  • How do I show love to others? This may indicate how you want to be loved.
  • What do I complain about, or feel hurt about? The opposite of this may be my love language.
  • What do I request most often? Chances are this makes you feel loved.

When you choose to speak your partner’s primary love language and there’s nothing but love in the air, your relationship can soar to new heights!

We appreciate Dr. Chapman for teaching us about the five love languages. In our book, Madly In Love Forever, we share more teachings and wisdom that have served us to love more, in greater detail.

Our final advice for Valentine’s Day: Figure out what Love Language your partner speaks and give him or her a present that speaks to his or her Love Language. It could be your best Valentine’s Day ever.

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