Get the Loving Relationship and Marriage You Want by “Acting As If”
Many people love their marriage partner, but they complain about their relationship. They want to have a happy marriage with the partner they love. However, they blame, complain and ultimately move into a life where all they are doing is tolerating each other. It’s so sad. Tolerating is resignation, enduring, and putting up with each other. There is no fun or desire to create fun. Where does that lead a couple to? An energy between two people filled with anger, depression and frustration.
There are many reasons why we tolerate certain situations. Living a life of overwhelm may make one believe they are too busy to change. Many people are afraid to change. They are afraid of themselves and what their marriage partner may think. They don’t want to “rock the boat.” Many people do not trust their own resources for creating something different for themselves. People let their fears stop them. Others are just plain lazy and by tolerating, they get to complain or become a victim. Where is the love, joy and juice in that kind of existence? Another reason for tolerating is that one may buy into a belief system and refuse to change due to the pressure by peers in the belief system.
To move from tolerance to happiness in your relationship, you can use this one simple technique. We call it “Act As If You Have the Relationship You Desire.” Here is an example of “acting as if”.
I decided to make learning this concept of “act as if a game.” I was ready to meet “Mr. Right” after 15 years as a single mom and a few dating experiences. The lessons I learned from dating and from my marriage and the divorce process, gave me a strong sense of what I wanted in a relationship. I even created a list that, in essence, requested I be treated like a queen.
Before engaging in any activity, not just dating or the social scene, I asked myself, “How would a queen act now? (If you are male, you could use any masculine, fair and loving role model.) “What would a queen be thinking? How would she move and speak?”
For starters, I learned to receive gestures of kindness and respect with grace. Every day, I stated my intention for getting into a relationship filled with joy and love.
After “acting as if” I were a queen, I forgot what tolerating was. I was busy transitioning into the new situations I had attracted into my life. I entered into marriage with a kind gentleman whom I love and adore. He calls me Princess and/or Goddess. I live in a comfortable country home. Once a year, I vacation in the tropics with my husband and family. Ah, the life of a queen!
“Acting as if” begins with pretending, at first, whatever it is you want to be. The more force and intensity you put into in “acting as if,” the quicker things will come. It is imperative to keep “acting as if.” The more you act, the more you move into the feeling and believability of what you want to be. Pretty soon, you can stop pretending, because you will actually be your vision.
T. Harv Eker, in Speedwealth, profoundly states: “Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent. People are creatures of habit.”
“Acting as if” is a practice. It allows you to get started now! You do not have to wait until everything is great. Are you ready to practice being what you want your world to be?